i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
