its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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