I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
