dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
