Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
