She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
