...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
