Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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