i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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