just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
