is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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