come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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