great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
