I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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