I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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