Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
