You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
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