pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
