Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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