i just google imaged poop.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
