Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
