he puts the penis in happiness.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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