oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone says I win the strip club
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
