what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
