I want to make a zoo with you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
