Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
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What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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