The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize