is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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