my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
