he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
