I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
