Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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