your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
