We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
