He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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