He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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