This is not my ceiling
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
