well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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