3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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