Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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