Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i out mim tonsoeep
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