So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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