The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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