youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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