After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Found the puke drawer
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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