He is an equal opportunity slut.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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