I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
