go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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