It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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