You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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