I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
