I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize