Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
