Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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