Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
