Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My life is pants optional.
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