he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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