If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?