We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Come see our sink grown plant.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
