I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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