Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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