two words: eviction party
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Every concussion has its silver lining
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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