Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You made out with two different species that night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
