And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
