he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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