her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
