The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
